Helping Kids with Pornography Addiction

In order to help our kids prevent a pornography addiction, there are some wonderful measures and resources, but also action steps to take if they fall into the pornography trap.

Personal Internal Filter

There are so many filters one can put on the home router, apps on the phone, and even through our internet company. However, I’ve always been a firm advocate for teaching our children to have a personal internal filter. They may be safeguarded better in the home with electronic filters, but once they leave the home and their devices, all of that won’t hold up without emphasizing how to be a filter themselves. We talked a lot about this in our home, and I think TALKING about the dangers of pornography is a key factor in helping our children establish their own filters. Nothing is fail-proof, but this method hopefully goes a long way.

Part of that type of filter in our home is that no electronic devices in bedroom (upstairs in our case).

Preventative Best Pornography Filters

With that being said, there were a lot of really great filter recommendations in our Instagram community discussion on  pornography.  I’ll list them below, but I don’t have a lot of details about them, so do your own search to find out

• PIT filter
• Disney’s Circle
• Ourpact
• Screentime feature on iphones
• Netgear router
• Quistodio

How to Talk to kids about Pornography

This discussion with our kids about pornography can go in a million different ways. Since many have said that kids are being exposed as early as age 8, it’s important to have that discussion early on. And just like the “birds and the bee’s” talk, it doesn’t need to be explicit right from the start, but informing them of things they may come across. I believe that the earlier they know about it, the better off they will be long term in staying away from it as they get older. There is 1 book and 1 short video that I REALLY love for teaching young children about pornography.

Here are a few quick steps:

1. Talk to kids early about pornography (by age 8)
2. Read the book: Good Pictures, Bad Pictures
3. Watch the video “What should I do when I see pornography” with kids.

The book Good Pictures, Bad Pictures is one that we own and is written specifically for younger kids, explaining what happens to the brain, and actionable steps to take when you come across pornography. It’s meant to be left out, revisited and discussed often. Not just a one time read.

Here is the video, it is Christian based, but fairly non-denominational.

Love is Stronger than Shame. A big part of talking to our kids is to help them realize we love them and want the best for them, and helping them to understand the importance of coming to us when they come across pornography.

We also talk about how other homes have different rules, and they will need to be aware that when they are at play dates, if they see something inappropriate, they can take measures to leave the room or stand up for what’s right. Roll playing possibly at a family meeting and discussion.

You can also check out my previous post for more tips for talking to your kids about pornography.

Is my child addicted to pornography?

This is a question that many parents fear asking themselves. How do you actually know if it is an addiction or a bad habit or if they are trapped? This was the topic of the parenting podcast interview this week with Free in 13 program helping kids in the trap of pornography before it becomes an addiction. Very few teens are addicted, and placing that label on them is very harmful.

Listen to the episode right here or on iTunes or Spotify:

They focus a lot on the fact that teens are TRAPPED verses ADDICTED. I love that visual, and offers a clearer vision of how to help. It is a mentorship program that helps teens and young adult break free of the habit.

Pornography addiction is different from viewing pornography. I love all of the resources found on the Instagram account for @Freein13 look it over and see if it is the right program for your family. If nothing else, follow them there to catch all of the great information they share!

Podcast for Teens on being Connected in Reality

If you’ve got teens, have them listen to this episode below!

I love this quote I found on @EducateEmpowerKids:

You cannot control what your children are exposed to.  You can only influence the way they perceive it.

Questions to ask teens about pornography use:

1. How often do you view pornography?
2. What are some of the ways you have tried to hide this habit?
3. Where do you view it?
4. What were you feeling when you first sought it out? (Sadness, anger, lonely, fear)
5. Is there someone else, a friend, who you find yourself looking at pornography with?
6. When do you feel most tempted to look at pornography?
7. How can I best support you and help keep you accountable from looking at it in the future?

Fight the New Drug

I have been familiar with the hashtag #PornKillsLove and this platform is worth looking over. They interview people who have overcome their pornography addictions and Love is Stronger than Shame. Fight the New Drug.