Thoughtful Thursday~No such thing as Superwoman

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Ok, I’ve been writing this post in my mind for MONTHS, but have always worried about the way it would be perceived, so have never actually sat down to try to type it out.  After reading a blog post the other day and having it fully resonate with me and the idea of this post, I owed it to myself to give it a try, so here goes!

In order for me to thrive, I have to be juggling a bunch of plates up in the air at once.  It’s how I’m hard wired. (My mom says un-diagnosed ADHD). My whole “can’t sit still/must be moving/must have 10 projects at once” mentality is how I operate.  I’m not saying it’s a good thing (remember that natural man comment).  I fight it at times.  Beg myself to sit still, make myself put aside a few projects to just focus on one.  Sometimes…one or two of those plates falls, and I disappoint myself.

I get lovely sweet comments from friends on this blog as well as friends in real life commenting on how they don’t know how  I do it all, and when I post something crazy exciting on my blog, I’ll hear the sentiments that I must be superwoman (I feel completely silly typing that out, but I have to add it in to get my point across). Honestly, I think people think they are giving me a complement when they say such things, but I cringe inside when I hear it. Because I am not superwoman.  In my own personal mind, I am far from it.  I fight every day against my “natural man” tendencies with that electromagnetic pull from my body to the computer. I also know that in making “supermom” comments, the person speaking might be feeling a lack in super human abilities…and that makes me sad. I don’t blog to toot my own horn and get accolades, but to share the things that work for me…in  hopes it can work for someone else (greeting my kids after school with cinnamon rolls in a can–not from scratch).

I love my computer.  So much so that I just don’t read books or watch tv anymore (ok sometimes I will bring my laptop and have a show going on at the side of me while I work on my desktop in front of me).   I miss those things, I do, but my spare time is here on this computer contributiong to my blog…as well as editing photography….and sometimes surfing pinterest and a handful of blogs.   I LOVE to do that. I set aside other things I like to do for this. This is what I do when my kids are at school/napping/tucked into bed at night. I want to be present for them. My number one goal in life is to nurture my family.  I am a homemaker, who happens to do some photography, and now blogging. With that, my goal is to be mostly off the computer when they aren’t at school/napping/tucked into bed at night, but sometimes if  I’m not done with a task (or I have 100 windows I need to pare down) then it trickles over.  Then I get mad at myself for not doing what I want be doing and closing it down. But really it’s my goal.

Something that has never come naturally to me is home organization. I’ve watched friends for years, asked tips, made charts for myself to get better in this area.  I do believe I’ve come a long way…it also helps a lot that I have kids that are old enough to help now! This is another thing that gets pushed aside when my spare time is doing computer stuff. Something that I am very passionate about is family dinner time and sharing our days with each other over a nice meal.  So I DO make that a priority–even though some days those meals include corn dogs.

Most important to me is face time with my kids, and I often have to schedule it into my brain because if I am left with too much down time where the kids are roaming, I find myself roaming to the computer.

I have to have something specific to go to, such as:

  •  Reading a chapter book aloud to my kids
  •  making aforementioned cinnamon rolls from a can
  •  work on homework with kids
  •  play outside on the driveway as they ride bikes
  •  prepare dinner in those after school hours with my children around chatting with me

And if there is an opportunity to capture anything on camera, I make an effort to do so.  Take the picture above for example. I walked with my girls to the mailbox the other day (around the corner) and we skipped along the way.  My youngest had never been taught to skip, and my older daughter and I laughed and laughed at her first try and she laughed and laughed at how fun it was. All the way back, we skipped again…then I ran in to get my camera and had my husband capture us doing it again.  Those moments, not only do I want to remember, but I want to have stories to tell my children as they grow up. Proof that I was there and played.  Maybe because I feel I lack in some areas, I capture the moments where I excel at times.  In reference to my post last week, I may not be completely satisfied with how I look, but that doesn’t stop me from being in pictures with my family as often as I can.  Hopefully if we have enough pictures of the happy moments, those will be the memories that will be preserved;) (Not crazy mom rushing about before school).

Recently, I’ve made it a personal goal to tuck my children into bed with a song or a book or a story.  It’s against my natural tendencies (my hubby would put them to bed while I followed that magnetic pull), but I want to change that in myself. I want more quiet/down time with open communication lines. But I’m not perfect, I fall short, I am no superwoman.

So, just because you see someone blogging about all the great  things they do with their families/home, remember that we all have our vices that we fight. Just because you aren’t throwing extravagent parties (I admit, I sorta love a crazy decorated party) doesn’t mean you can’t pat yourself on the back for the good things you are doing.  I watch people…a lot.  So many people are doing good things, that I wish I were better at.  These are the reminders I give myself when I don’t do as well as I did the day before. 

I will end with a quick blurb from a really great blog post I read the other day. It is from a blog called, Momastery.   In the post, Don’t Carpe Diem , she reviews the all too familiar scenario that when she is out with her young children, she will often hear from an older woman, “Oh, I loved when my children were young–ENJOY them now.”   She goes on to say (and I TOTALLY AGREE), ” This message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life – while I’m raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to “enjoy them now” makes me worry that if I’m not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I’m doing something wrong.”

Her thoughts from that statement resonated with me because it is the words I had felt when hearing that (from the nice old ladies in the stores), but didn’t know how to express. I ask myself, “How does one fully enjoy all the time so as to never regret a moment? How do I fully absorb it all?!?” I LOVE mothering, I LOVE my children, but we are moving from one thing to another, its rare that we sit still and just enjoy. In her post, Momastery mentions “regular time” and “God’s time.”

Continuing, “There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It’s regular time, it’s one minute at a time, it’s staring down the clock till bedtime time, it’s ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it’s four screaming minutes in time out time, it’s two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there’s Kairos time. Kairos is God’s time. It’s time outside of time. It’s metaphysical time. It’s those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.”

 

Seek out those moments. If you can…capture them…if not, capture them in your heart. Make a list for what a superwoman is to you, and be intentional about your daily activities….don’t just let them go by. Items on your list could be:  Read aloud to kids, sing at night, make dinner together, make cookies, play dollies, play catch.  And aim for something once a day.  None of us can do it all–all the time. It’s just not possible. But don’t stop trying to do your best. Tell me something you do, go ahead…brag!  I need all the ideas I can get.